It’s been strange for me not to take, edit and post a photo every day. I’ve still been taking the photos. I’ve decided I’m only going to post the images I’m really proud of. The ones I would put up on a wall for critique if I did that sort of thing.
I think it’s the editing I’m missing the most. It’s funny, I used to get really impatient in the darkroom. Maybe it was too many hours spent breathing in ilfochrome chemicals. When I hit college (I was wild and went later in life), I learned to love the editing process. Editing digitally was so much more natural for me. Sitting in those dark computer labs spending hours getting each image just right, fighting with the damn printer to get the stupid thing to just match the screen. It’s funny how much I miss that now. It makes me wish I had a functional printer. And calibration software. But then I remember how temperamental printers are, and how expensive and I rethink that desire.
This girl is my most willing and available subject so she’s been easy to photograph. I’ve always been better at people, and photographing those closest to me has always been my passion. I remember someone telling me in college they couldn’t wait until I had babies to see my photographs. My work has changed a lot since then, and softened. I don’t think my current images are what either of us would have expected all of those years ago. Sometimes I hesitate to share some of my best work, after all my kid is naked half of the time and its the internet and I’m just not that brave or naive which ever you prefer to call it. I recently discovered on Instagram of all places, a photographer and was inspired.Wyatt Neumann’s recent work, “I FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR CHILDREN”, is a gorgeous collection of photographs juxtaposed with the comments he received after posting the images online. I related to the images he shot. I envied them. I envied his balls to share them. They were a beautiful representation of what life with a toddler looks like. But the world we live in deemed him a pedophile, a terrible father, and on and on. I seem to remember people saying some of the same things about Sally Mann. How terribly we judge those brave enough to show us life as it truly is, and god forbid they include the human body.
If you’re interested in seeing more of my every day shots, look me up on Instagram (thenightbakery), where I will be posting some of what doesn’t make the cut here.
Just want to remind you that when you post pictures on the internet, pedophiles also have the option to use images of your daughter in ways that suit their own purposes. Public can be very much more public than you would think.
I totally get that. Its something I wrestle with quite a bit. I do censor myself because of it and it makes me sad that I feel like I need to (these photos are even cropped for that very reason, although the original images didn’t even show anything). I feel like censoring my actions and artistic leanings out of fear gives them too much power. It’s a delicate balance, making sure I am careful yet not limiting my creativity because of it. I want part of her innocence and beauty and freedom in her body to be a piece of the story I tell with my photos. God knows as a female she has years of potential body issues ahead of her.