A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

There’s a dog hidden away under there and she’s telling him all about the photos in that book.

A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

She can correctly name all of her family members. She says thank you mama every single time I give her anything or do something she asks for. She loves to peel the paper off of her crayons. She asks to read 101 Dalmatians at least 20 times a day. She will eat salad as long as I refer to it as pickle salad. Her favorite foods mirror her Papas, mac and cheese, cheese pizza and doughnuts.

A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

I’ve been debating middle of the night cups of coffee when she decides to have an all night party. I can’t decide if that’s a great or terrible idea.

A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

She asked for Boo Boo(the jaguar) while in the tub tonight. I should have realized this would end up with Boo Boo getting a bath as well.

A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

I finally took some photos I felt Christmas card worthy, and though this is not the winner, it’s probably my favorite. Or maybe the totally blurry out of focus shot where she took off running when she realized there were even more stairs to climb up and down outside.

A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

Sorry husband, I loved this photo.

A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

She had her first hot chocolate today. I threw some things in a pot and it was the best hot chocolate I’ve ever had. She sat under the Christmas tree, dunking her graham crackers and reading books. I think it’s safe to say she liked it.

A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

I don’t think you really understand how much of your life will be devoted to the process of sleep once you have a baby, until you have that baby. She slept like garbage last night. Stayed up until midnight, up at 5:30, back down at 8 and slept until I woke her at 11:30am. I have no clue what was going on. I made the idiotic decision to stay up watching tv until 1 am, so I was exhausted to say the least.

It’s hard to understand that kind of interrupted sleep until you’ve been there. I haven’t slept longer then six hours straight in over 2 years. The only night I slept longer was the night she was born, grief stricken and ambien fueled I slept.

Everyone tells you to prepare to be tired when you have a baby. What no one mentions is that it’s ok. That you don’t have to somehow fix your baby to make them sleep. It’s ok to be totally and completely exhausted and overwhelmed. It’s ok that your laundry remains undone and your dishes pile up. It’s ok to take a nap. Or as many naps as your baby.

My daughter is 2 now. She went to bed at 7:30 tonight and has already woken twice needing help to get back to sleep. I don’t know that she will ever be a “good” sleeper. And that’s ok.

She tried to take a nap when I got home from work tonight. I sang, I jumped around, I made animal noises, I tickled her. Finally I threw her in the ergo and went about my night. It worked and she was up minutes later, happy and ready to play.

Infant sleep, toddler sleep, it’s all sort of a mystery. One day I’ll look back at it with nostalgia, and miss those days I had to rock, sing or nurse her to sleep. But today there is coffee. Lots of coffee.

A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

Her nose is pouring snot again. What the hell universe.

A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

The light in the kitchen was top notch this morning. Apparently so was the cream cheese on her bagel.