I started writing this post on facebook. Linking to this post. And then I realized I had a lot to say.
I remember the haze after our daugther was born. My husband was my rock. In so many ways. Too many to count. He was at her side, when I couldn’t be. His was the first hand that she touched(well, besides all of the doctors and nurses). His voice the first that sang to her. And then he took care of me. Some how he learned how my pump worked(did I teach him? Did a nurse?). He woke up with me everytime I needed to pump, or take ibuprofen. He helped me pump, he cleaned the parts, he tracked my ibuprofen so I stayed ahead of my pain. How I got through those first few days is a mystery to me, but I know this, I could not have done it without him. I would have fallen apart. HE made me strong. HE helped me become a mother. HE supported me and loved me in ways I never imagined.
And then we were home, and he was already back at work, and he was still my rock. He rocked and swayed and sang her through her period of “night time fussies” better then I ever could. He baby-wore, he brought me water and entertainment when she simply would not stop nursing for hours. He was and is the most amazing father I could have hoped for.
We talked recently about the role of the father in our society. How we don’t celebrate them the way we do mothers. Mother’s Day is a huge event, but Father’s Day, meh, whatever. Fathers are simply pushed behind the real heros of parenting, mothers. And it’s crap. It’s a load of shit. Sorry. I couldn’t be the fierce mother I am without him. My child would be lost without a father, as all of the fatherless children I know are. We rag on deadbeat dads, but celebrate a mothers independance. My husband grounds me. He makes me sane(ok he also drives me insane at times). He balances out my crazy. He is the voice of reason when I’m loosing it. Watching my husband navigate the waters of parenting has opened me up. Men don’t get the advantage of breastfeeding to help them bond, in most cases they don’t get to stay home for weeks getting to know this precious new child. They don’t get even half of the credit they deserve.
I married a good man, that much I know. He is far more then even he knows. He shows me on a daily basis. And today, on a regular weekday, I celebrate him. Who knows, maybe I’ll even make him cookies tonight. He is afterall, the best.