I am starting to panic. Absolutely PANIC. You see one way or another I have to go back to making some sort of money in March. Which means leaving my babe every day. I can count the hours I have spent apart from her since leaving the hospital on one hand. I don’t like being away from her. I’m just not one of those moms who needs me time. Me time consists of a bubble bath while daddy watches her. Seriously that’s enough.

But sadly unless some rich benefactor decides to finance my life in the next few weeks here, I’m going to be going back to work. Just when my baby has developed separation anxiety. And seemingly achieved object permanence. Like 4 months ahead of schedule. She barely lets her father hold her for extended periods of time, much less anyone else. I’m extremely fortunate that my parents will be the ones caring for her, but I’m still loosing it. I picture myself walking out the door, and her melting down. Tears, screaming until she’s blue(which in her case is not a good thing). I can’t help it I’m thinking about this day and night. Definitely not doing a good job on my whole living with less fear goal on this one.

So we’re preparing. Seeing grandma and grandpa every other day at least. Me spending at least 20 minutes or more away from home(without her) every day. And I’m baking. Cooking and baking to keep my mind off things. This baby smells fear. She’s kind of like her k9 siblings that way. If you approach her with nerves, she absolutely looses it.

So I made a coffee cake. My love of all things baked for breakfast led me to it. I threw in some apples. And browned butter. Because really every baked good is only improved by the addition of brown butter. This cake is everything a coffee cake should be. It’s moist and fluffy with burst of apple in every bite. The brown butter and crumb topping are the real reason for this cake. Everything else is just filler. It has rich golden color from the brown sugar and brown butter. I could happily eat this every morning. But it won’t last that long.

This cake is best warm with a frothy hot latte.

Brown Butter Apple Coffee Cake

Ingredients

2 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
5 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup oil
3/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 egg
1 egg yolk
1 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup diced apples(about 3 small apples)
2 apples sliced

Crumb topping:

1/2 cup flour
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
3 tablespoons cold butter

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter 13×9 inch pan. In a small saucepan brown the butter. Melt butter over medium hear until it begins to sizzle and pop. Small brown flecks will begin to appear and the butter will start to smell nutty. Cook until butter is brown in color, but not burned. Remove from heat immediately. Cool slightly.

2. In a large bowl combine flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt and cinnamon.

3. In the bowl of an electric mixer combine browned butter and sugars. Cream until well mixed. Add oil, eggs and yolk, milk and vanilla. Slowly add flour mixture and beat until incorporated.

4. Dice apples and add to batter. Pour batter into pan. Slice remaining apples and arrange on top of batter.

5. Make the crumb topping. With your fingers mix sugars, flour, cinnamon and butter until mixture is crumbly. Sprinkle over cake. Bake for 35 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.