I’ve been coming down with a case of Peter Pan syndrome. Today I turned 30, and I’ve been running and hiding and avoiding it like the plague. I don’t know if it’s just my generation or if it’s always been this way, but I don’t think most of us really thought we would turn 30. We all just kind of ignored it. Like if we kept on pretending it wasn’t happening, maybe it wouldn’t.
And then it did. Most of my friends are in their 30’s now, or very close to it. We all still reminisce about our wild and crazy youth. There’s something about the rebellious nature of my generation where turning 30 somehow seems like a betrayal. Like we all saw people with 9-5’s and car loans and mortgages as evil. Maybe we were on to something.
I’ve been having somewhat of a mini mid life crisis leading up to this day. I’m not ready to be done living. I’m not ready to settle down and bow down to a job and the grind and money for the rest of my life. I’ve been rebelling against this passage of time by trying to recapture my youth. I’ve been going to concerts and staying out late and not worrying so much about tomorrow. Maybe I’m being irresponsible, or maybe, just maybe I’m on to something.
I even got a tattoo. As I’m writing this I’m realizing I forgot to tell my parents. Sorry Mom and Dad.
It’s a line from one of my new musical fascinations. And no, I’m not going all crazy religious. I got this tattoo for other reasons. Ever since I graduated from college and became a real grown up I’ve been scared. Scared to live, scared to die, scared to be poor. Every single decision I’ve made since then has been financially motivated. Not one single move, job change or big decision has been real. I got this tattoo to remind me, to kick me in the ass, and tell me to start living. Really living. Making decisions from the heart, doing things that matter, things that really mean something to me. Working for myself, not the dollar. So that’s the tattoo. And the fact that it kind if weirds people out lets me know I made the right decision getting it. I’ve always kind of been that girl.
So today I turned 30. And even though it scared and still scares the crap out of me, it has kind of allowed me to realize what’s really important to me. Family. Happiness. Living for the moment. We won’t have them forever.
And I can’t forget that list I made. That lovely 30 by 30 list. I’ve done things! I’ve accomplished goals! Not a lot. It is going to be a process that much is clear. Here’s where I’m at so far:
1. Make a soufflé.
I still need to do this. I keep forgetting.
2. Redesign my website.
Done. It’s much better. Re-subscribe if you haven’t yet.
3. Find a way out of my job.
No ideas. It needs to happen. That place is pure evil.
4. Create a small business plan.
The problem with this one is I’m not exactly sure what type of business. Can I just get paid to write this blog?
5. Start food blog.
Kind of obvious right?
6. Write 30 new recipes.
I’ve written more then 30. Go me!
7. Animate Rocky.
I’ve decided I need a Wacom tablet for this one. Want to buy it for me?
8. Enter Iron Cupcake.
Done and doing again.
9. Make baking business cards.
Way done. Totally mini and adorable.
10. Make crème brûlée.
I need a torch. I might go buy one today.
11. Learn to refinish my dresser.
Didn’t even think about this one yet.
12. Learn to sew.
I bought fabric. I’m making an apron. Soon.
13. Make my own cookbook by hand.
I have an adorable little book I’m using for this. I do not have a working printer.
14. Make a perfect poached egg.
I don’t know why, but I can never get this right. They’re never quite perfect.
15. Mail baked goods to 15 long lost friends.
I had great intentions of completing this one. Not even started yet.
16. Make a wedding cake.
I totally did that.
17. Eat at L’Etoile.
Okay here’s the thing. L’Etoile, totally not cheap. Going to have to save some money.
18. Plan a vacation to the west coast.
I’m thinking this spring. It’s difficult, I have a husband who refuses to fly and 2 dogs that are hard to manage.
19. Read 19 new books.
I’m pretty sure I did this. I didn’t keep track. I read a lot.
20. Take 20 GOOD artistic photographs. Not of food.
Ummmm yea…I like taking photos of food.
21. Organize my computer.
Still needs to happen. Still hasn’t happened.
22. Watch every movie someone suggests from now until I turn 30.
This was easy. Somehow people didn’t mention a lot of movies to me. I did watch Anchorman and I now know why I avoided it for so long.
24. Scan all of my old photos.
Nope, didn’t do this one. It’s gonna be a biiiiig project.
25. Make this beautiful cake for someone’s birthday.
No one has had a birthday who I make cakes for since I came up with this. Soon though.
26. Make a duo of homemade cheeses, ricotta and mascarpone.
This one is easy! Why haven’t I done this yet?
27. Make homemade dog biscuits.
Again, easy. Do it!
28. Take a cooking class.
Still need to do.
29. Develop an exercise routine I can stick to.
Um yea, about that…
Chosen, made recipes, it’s going to be a couple years before I finish this one.
So that’s it. My 30 by 30 list is turning into 30 things for 30 years. And then some. But it’s good to have goal, even small ones. So today I turned 30. It wasn’t really as traumatic as I thought. I had a great time with friends yesterday, and ate an amazing dinner with family tonight. I’ll fill you in on that one later. 30 doesn’t feel any different then 29 did, so I’ll save my anxiety for 40. Yikes.