A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

She was quite pleased with the little picnic table her grandma brought over today.

A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

I went overboard on photos today. This is today’s actual photo, the rest are just bonus.

A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

She kicked ass at the hospital today. She was so good, and amazed me how much she understood.

A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

It’s 5pm and I just thought about the fact that tomorrow morning she goes to Cardiology. I’ve been telling her all week long about her echo on Friday. She’s been watching video’s of other kids getting echo’s. She knows that she gets to watch The Fantastic Mr Fox. At least I hope she knows. I’ve been trying to prepare her, as best you can prepare a toddler. She hasn’t had a full echo in a year. I have a plan. I know things may not go according to plan, as they rarely do with a child in the picture. But I am hoping, praying that she cooperates enough for them to at least see the damn valve. Last time they didn’t even get that. When we go in, germs be damned, I’m going to let her play with the toys in the waiting room. We’re going to show her the fish tank and the giant cow. We’re going to let her walk back to the echo suite herself. All the while telling her it’s time to watch the movie. Then she and I will sit on the bed, turn on the movie and pray that she doesn’t burst into tears the second the tech touches her. I’m bringing cheese. I’m considering buying chocolate. Or cookies. Or anything to bribe her with. I’ve told her every day she gets to pick out a new stuffed animal after her echo. I know she understands me. I just hope it’s enough. So dear reader, if you think of this sweet girl tomorrow morning, then please send her “hold still damn it!” vibes.

I freaking love it when she helps carrying in the bags from the store.

A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

It’s entirely possible that part of her life revolves around boots.

A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

These two, they are the best.

A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

She wanted to be outside ALL DAY. I hate to tell her it’s still Wisconsin and will probably snow again.

A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

She ate donuts for breakfast and cheeseburgers and french fries for lunch. Thankfully dinner was a redeeming meal of beans, spinach, avocado and a fruit smoothie. I dubbed today “get fat Sunday”. It doesn’t happen often around here, but today we all indulged.

A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

These two. I love these two. I love watching the relationship they have develop. I love watching him be her dad. He was the first person she saw. He’s an amazing father. And he works so hard at it. Every single day. He’s so present in her life. I think the physical, hormonal bond breastfeeding creates gives me a huge advantage. But him, he works at it, day in and day out. Four days a week he does dinner, bath, bedtime routine by himself. He amazes me. These two. They’re everything.

A portrait of my daughter every day in 2014

She had her 18 month check up this week. She’s still kicking ass at growth, in the 76th percentile for weight. That little brain of hers is growing just right too. Although I know she’s wicked smart and developing normally, every so often I can’t help but worry a little. All of that time in the beginning, where her oxygen sats lingered in the 50’s and 60’s, but here she is, so smart and learning something new every day.

A week from today will be the real test, when she goes in for her semi annual heart check up. Helping her stay calm enough for an echo, EKG and an exam is something I am quite apprehensive about. Our no tv rule will be broken and hopefully The Fantastic Mr Fox will be distraction enough to allow for a few good shots of her heart.

I remember back to one of the first developmental assessments she had, when she was just one month old. A woman came to our house. I don’t know what made me think about this today but for some reason it popped into my head. She asked if I could tell the difference in her cries, if I knew what her hungry cry sounded like. I remember being confused, and telling her I never let her get hungry enough to cry. I always fed her at the first sign of stirring. Maybe that was why she was such a happy baby. And why she grew so well, so quickly.

I’m starting to recognize I am outside the norm for continuing to breastfeed her at this age. I find that really sad. She is so much a toddler, but still so much a baby. I will nurse her proudly, for as long as she chooses. The fact that it reduces her risks of getting sick, her risks of numerous ailments later in life and my own risk of four different cancers are reason alone, but the comfort it provides her is unmatched. If only she would allow for that as comfort during her echo and our problems would be solved.

I love this kid. Immeasurably. Her goofy expressions. Her gigantic personality. This child of mine, she is my favorite.